Inside Out
by Anna Coulter
Summary: One shot about how Prue feels after breaking up with Andy.


**Disclaimer: If I own nothing of this and this story has absolutely nothing to do with my true feelings. **

**One shot**

**INSIDE OUT **

I sighed heavily as I stared at the blank word document. I was supposed to write something romantic, something that would put a smile on your face but I simply can't. I never could. At first, I couldn't because I simply didn't have a heart, and if I did, it wasn't working, romantic stories come from the heart, you know? Yeah, you do. You told me. You also told me that I was afraid to love. You were right, I admit it, but once I came to realize that I loved you, that I needed you, once I asked you for forgiveness, once I asked you to come back to me… you turned me down. Why? Why wasn't I good enough?

-FLASH BACK.-

_She buried her head in the big white pillow and hid her sobs from her sister who was sleeping next door. It had been like that for nearly six months and she had already given up on the idea of forgetting him. As the darkness reigned over the room, she rolled out of bed lazily and walked to her desk. She knew what she had to do, but could she do it. Could she finally admit that she loved him? Could she say "I love you" after all that had happened? Could she even try for him?_

_She looked up and stared at her own picture in front of her. She was holding up a piece of paper. It was a poem she had wrote for the arts festival in Baker High. She was smiling brightly. Her hazel eyes wasted energy and self-confidence, the self-confidence that she had only because she knew that she was the best, she was the one all eyes laid on, she was the one every girl wanted to be like and every boy wanted to be with. She wasn't smiling because she had won but because she knew she would win right from the start. She had won because she was a good writer, she could write everything down on a paper. She ruled over the huge paper that her life was, and she was proud of it. Next to her, there was him. He wasn't exactly next to her though, he was a little behind, smiling too because she had succeeded once again. Prue could only laugh at the fact that he was behind her, looking up to her, looking after her just in case she fell and was no longer able to get up on her feet. She never realized before. She never saw him before. Not that way. _

_Finally, she decided that it was time to shallow her pride and pick up the phone to try to get him back. Slowly, she dialled the number as her words raced in her mind. What would she say? She didn't know. She hung up a couple of times due to the panic she felt but finally, she dialled one last time with her heart beating practically out of her chest. _

_"Hello?"_

_"Andy? It's me…" she said with a shaky voice._

_"Oh. How is it going?" he asked trying to sound casual. _

_"I… I needed to talk to you…" Why did things have to be so damn complicated?_

_"About?"_

_"Us" she said bravely. "Look, I know this sounds crazy, especially at this hour but… I just don't know what to say… I messed up, okay?" she was staring to get all upset. "I know I wasn't there for you. I know I broke up with you but I was being stupid. I love you, Andy, please, I love you so much. Please give me another chance…"_

_He didn't say a word and Prue couldn't help to start crying on the phone._

_"Please don't…" he finally said._

_"…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… I haven't told you that I loved you before because… everyone I love just goes away."_

_"I'm sorry, Prue. Hey, why don't we meet and talk about it tomorrow?"_

_-END OF THE FLASH BACK.-_

Everyone I loved just went away and I was always left behind. I never allowed myself to cry and fall to pieces because I knew that if I did, I would not be able to pull myself together again. The thing is I am so sick of being the strong one, always. Why does everyone play with me? People think I am strong because it is simply the way I am, but I am not. I am not strong. I just have to be strong. I am expected be strong. Let me tell you something, it is so hard to live up to someone else's expectations. It is hard to have two people living inside of you; yourself and who everyone else thinks you are. I am so many things, I am a sister, I am a good student, I am a partier, I am an example, I am class president, I am a cheerleader, I am that bitch… Everyone thinks they know me, but they don't.

They don't know me. You did. You knew the real me, and you threw it away.

Then you wonder why it seems that I have no heart.

How am I supposed to have one if everyone I give it to breaks it somehow?

-FLASH BACK.-

_She stared into his eyes while he caressed her face, her lips… her tears. _

"_I just can't be with you. I've moved on." He almost cried._

_She bit her bottom lip hard, trying even harder to fight her tears away. She looked down to her feet and forced a smile on her face._

"_Are we okay?" he asked worriedly. "I really care about you"_

"_Yeah, we are… we are always okay. We are still friends, right?"_

"_Right"_

"_You haven't lost me"_

"_Right" she whispered, not believing it at all._

_He hugged her. He felt awful for the pain he was causing her but would he ever know how much damage he had really done?_

_Then, when they broke apart for one last time she thought about running away, turning away and just run towards her house, where it was safe, where she could cry. Could she really?_

_No she couldn't. She wouldn't._

-END OF THE FLASHBACK.-

Friends. It's funny how we pretend that we are okay. We still go out for breakfast, we go out shopping. Sometimes I call you but you never call me. Sometimes I think that you are busy, but you are not, you just don't care anymore. Not in the same way. Time is slowly passing us by and I still think, deep down, that you are going to call and tell me that it is going to be okay.

Someone told me once that if you were in love with someone, you had to tell that someone even if you felt like the stupidest person alive. He told me that what we don't say is left to say. What about the things we do say? Do they count? That person went away. You did the same thing.

Sometimes, something in the back of my head begs me to run after you and try to get you back, but you don't love me, you don't want me… and I don't know what I feel anymore. Do I love you? Do I hate you?

I hate you because I love you. I hate you because you are hurting me by making like nothing ever happened. It hurts because it did happen, because I do love you, because it can still happen. You thanked me for loving you but now I'm wounded. You wanted to live your life and I'm wounded because I'm letting you go, I'm letting you go because you asked me to but while I do it, I'm crying.

You can still call me. I am still here. I can play an act, and I will just to make sure you are okay. I wish I could go back, but I can't. You can't get anyone back once he or she is gone, whatever that really means.

But please, remember, that sometime along the way, I'm still waiting for you to turn your head to realize that I was meant for you and you were meant for me.


End file.
